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A note to my girls


I have retained the Blog title "Nigerian boy" on this Blog till 38. You should be my baby girls even till 38 years I guess. Not that I wish to change to "the Nigerian man" by 78 anyway.  

Let's get to the talk. I am on my way to the office at 7.55am, sitting in a red OV transport Bus, going by Ouderkerk Oost in Amstelveen, Netherlands and I thought to pen down a note to you. It is at this point that a little girl comes up to sit beside me in the long, red electric bus whirling away to Holterbergweg bus stop in Amsterdam, where I would alight and walk to the office.   

What did I want to say?
There is a verse of scripture that comes to my mind at this moment and it is found in Psalm 37:25...which says: 

"I have been young and now I am old, yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken nor his seed begging bread". 

The journey of life is amazing. It is beautiful because you will have many moments. You will have many challenges. But in all, you are victorious. You are a winner of all and I mean this. A winner of all moments, both the good ones and the seemingly not good ones. I know you will do greater than your mom and I did and we are happy to see you do them. 

My first note
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. This is not a sermon but one phrase that reminds me always to lean on God. It would be a lie to tell you I have trusted God all through. No, I haven't. But I learn to trust him everyday - sometimes he guides me on a part and I go but sometimes I miss the way, and other times, I am really scared, wanting him to come down and tell me outrightly where to go but you know he works in diverse ways. I would like to tell you to Let the word of the Almighty God be your guide through life. Read God's word daily and keep to what it says. I recall one of my study moments back at Covenant University where I stumbled upon Deut. 28:13 where I saw that He will make me the head and not the tail. I did not know how things will come to be, but God revealed them with time. I also recall a time when I was at Benin Electricity Distribution Company in Benin City, Edo State, Nigeria as a Graduate Trainee and I was contemplating quitting, wondering  what I was doing there as it didn't look like what I considered Great and I prayed about it and I got an assurance that I was at the place I ought to be for the moment. It was confusing but I remained. I decided not to go for a United Africa Company (UAC) Job Interview in Lagos anymore at some point. I look back now, about 9 years after and I can say 'God has been good'. 


My second note
You are beautiful. Made in the image of God. When the Bible says this, it is no joke, it is a true word. But much more, ensure your heart also remains beautiful. The reality of beauty came to me when I stayed with a friend's family somewhere in Akure, Ondo State, Nigeria, some weeks before I got married to your mom. She took great care of me and I noticed her care was beyond how she looked but much more about what her heart portrayed and I thought of the fact that how beautiful the heart of a person is matters a lot as much as the physical beauty. God has made you physically beautiful but this is second to the beauty of the heart. Proverbs 11:22 provides a good answer to this. 

My third note
If you ever find yourself at a low point, know that it is just for a moment and would pass. You would come out briming with Joy. At times like this, always talk to God just like you would talk to your mom and I. Tell him how you feel and I can tell you He hears. He might comfort you directly of tell someone close to you to do it or could be someone from afar. 

At low moments, we feel like giving up but that is not a solution. In those times, you feel like you cannot continue but I tell you, tomorrow is a new day and you will rejoice.  I have had my own low moments and even times where I thought I should give up including worrying a lot. I can tell you now that I look back and for some of those moments, I am unable to recall them. I don't even know why I worried over them again. A story comes to my mind - It was at a time when your mom and I wanted to get our second rented house in the Netherlands (the first was a 3 months rental as we had just come to the Netherlands for a job), we had told the landlady for the place we stayed that we would leave on the 15th of the last month instead of the end of the month and she had begun looking for people to takeover the place we stayed - we also did not want to go back to her to extend as we wanted a better place compared to where we stayed. I had viewed two houses recently and we were not selected for the first one. Now, for the second house I viewed, I got a rejection mail and was physically concerned immediately the mail came in but you know, a thought came to my mind to give thanks to God and as I did, all concerns went off. I recall your mom sent a mail asking 'what do we do now?" and I responded "REST". That was it - the next thing I did was look for a house close to the church we had been going to and I applied and Voila!, it didn't take more than 3 or 4 days after, we got this. They literally wanted us to sign 2 days after I requested to view online but I delayed by 1 day and that was it. All worries left. 

My fourth note
Ask Questions. I consider this would come easy to you as a female. Someone had mentioned that ladies find this easy to do. Your mom finds it easier to ask when you compare at the two of us. Asking questions help bring clarity. It brings deeper insights into things. And like I have come to learn, All questions are useful where the is no clarity. 


My fifth note
Do not be envious of anyone's blessing. Yours is just around the corner.

This could be a friend or anyone else. Do not be envious! Instead, rejoice with them. Because yours is just around the corner if you wish for a similar thing.
A story comes to mind. Leaving BEDC for MainOne was for a slightly higher pay (my reason for leaving was beyond money - I didn't desire the next 3 roles ahead of me, if I had been given the 3rd, I would still have been looking for another job). It was good to leave. A friend stayed for 1 or 2 years more and then he got a job which paid far higher than what I got and I simply rejoiced with him. I was happy he was leaving too. Maybe because he is my friend, I didn't bother to even think about the hgher pay he would collect. Not too long after that, I also got a job that would pay four times what I was grateful my friend got. 
Another story Pastor Poju Oyemade of Covenant Nation said some years ago while Kiitan & I were still courting - The story of three drummers from Ibadan, Nigeria. One of their friend had been selected to go drum in an event in a foreign country. The other two were happy for their friend and even escorted him to the airport. At the airport, some other people that had been selected did not show up and the organizers asked what the other two friends do - they said they were drummers and had just escorted their friend. The organizers asked if they had their passports with them, they said Yes (In the Lagos MMIA, we sometimes carry our passports to allow the officials allow us escort persons we came with through a gate). That is how they organized that the people should travel with their friend. I would say they did Visa on arrival here as I try to think of the way they went through.   

This is not an exhaustive but a note I would like to leave today. It is also not the only note but one I have thought of today. I believe the model we leave for you as we guide you from birth to Adulthood are more important and would stay with you for a long time. I would write more notes to you as the days go by and as you both grow.  

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