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I finished first. Did I?


I just finished a test. It was to hold for three hours. I was the first to submit. I submitted within an hour and a half. "I don't need to ask you how it went, you finished first, didn't you?" a colleague said after the test.

I could have submitted half an hour earlier. Don't think too far. You'll get the point soon.

"How did the test go?", some people asked. It went well, my reply (It doesn't change a thing whatever I tell them except for some pity-party if I say the negative). But did it go well? (To myself) hmmm...

Have you ever been in an exam and you just couldn't write (Even though you know the answer are somewhere at the back of your head). Ok not just that, have you been in an exam and you saw familiar questions you knew the answers but couldn't just remember the answers. Today's test was like that.

The first phase of the field experience for the National Graduate Skill Development programme (NGSDP) ended about four weeks ago and we started the first classroom teaching last week. The teachings have to do with power system protection. A course I just started developing an interest for. been on the negative about it before now. Power seems to be fun sort of at the moment.

Let me get back to the test.

I was so bogged out that I had to step out to call the Invigilator. "Sir, I'm through" I recall saying.

Whew! some relief, but Men, I've got to live with this till I get another chance to prove myself. to show I know the stuff. Let me add, I didn't know it all, I wrote something though.  I had not fully prepared. I've got no cogent reason or excuse for this I add (at least other students wrote stuff). Was planning on finishing up the study on the calculations this morning but then, the test came earlier than planned. "Live prepared".

Regrets! Naaa. I don't. I always said something. i'll rather fail honourably than cheat. Imagine, what the Lab coordinator told me after i submitted. "its not cheating, it something you knew but you've forgotten, you just remember when you ask your colleagues. True, I would have remembered about six questions or so, had i asked but it wasn't worth it to me. I just smiled all through.Exams has been this way for me (not cheating i mean) since Covenant University and it will remain so. I just have the good sense that it was my work. And I've had the great scores and the not so great scores.

Some words come to my mind. something Oprah talked about. Something about excellence being the best deterrent to racism or sexism. If I have to live in a world like this. then I have to be excellent. A world where the wrong is accepted as the norm (and you want to live in a different way), a world where the man who wants to do right is looked down upon and sometimes called a fool. And to consider it, I haven't been perfect either (Rule breaking sometimes pop-up). That's that.

Another test is coming up in a week, I've got to take this by the horn.




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