Not sure if this writeup should come from me.
Kiity's perspective would be better as she made the decision.
As long as I had known, Kiity has always felt a form of pressure to move abroad. Don't ask me where the pressure came from. This pressure led to thoughts of moving abroad to live.
But I didn't have this mentality or desire. We probably would have moved abroad earlier if I did. I just did not feel or desire moving to a ew country as other's did. But then, hearing the abroad story consistently both inside and outside (a lot of people talked about it at work and other places) stirred me up. I think somewhere in Kiity's mind, she still feels we would have moved in 2017 if we really wanted to.
Let's fast-forward to the period 2018 - 2020. We had moved back to Lagos at this time after my sojourn with Benin Electricity.
The major destination for most people in Nigeria then was Canada via the Express Entry with a few via the Academic system. This scale eventually shifted to 50% - 50% or maybe or even more people via the academic route some year later. Everyone had to write the IELTS exam (either Academic or General). The exam is the International English Language Testing System.
The only way I could get myself to write the IELTS was to do the Academic exam. I had done it some years ago when I considered going abroad for my Bachelors and again when I wanted to go for my masters at Leeds University. But for what I wanted, a PhD. I don't think the supervisor was moved by my application. I didn't push to other schools.
Then came the foray to considering the General exam. Did it made sense? It did not make any sense. I had so much trouble with the though of doing it. What was being tested? In reality, was it needed? I had spoken English all my life. I could not grasp why people failed it or Did they really fail? Most people did not fail. They just could not accrue as much points as required by the Express Entry system for the Language part to be chosen as there were a lot of people and the system chose the top people. And the IELTS exam only lasted 2 years. You would have to write again if you were not chosen. I would eventually do it 3 or maybe 4 times. The last time was to prove to Kiity that I could get the marks and did not need a lesson guide to succeed at the exam. People had taken lesson guides to help them achieve the top marks (minimum 7.5 or 8 in all tests). I passed and updated on the Express Entry pool but we did not need it.
Now the real story: Year 2023.
Someone hinted at the idea of going to study as others were currently doing. Leaving work to move abroad via study. You study for 2 years and eventually decide to work there. Most people went to UK and Canada. Canada only seemed fair for us as both my brother and Kiity's brother were living there now. My brother, Teejay had moved since September 2019 while Kiity's brother, Phems had moved in Feb 2021. And another sister of Kiity also had moved to Canada from South Africa where she lived for a long time.
Kiity chose Carleton University. And she got the admission offer by Feb 2023. The plan was for her to go study and I would join her 'later'. We did not define 'later' accurately. maybe 6 months max I recall. I should add that Kiity was skeptical on this move. She was not sure she wanted to do this. Leave Kunle I was silent on my part. I felt we could do it but I was not definite. I also felt doing the course was a plus for Kiity. Phems and Kiity's cousin had decided to foot the school bill. They paid the initial term fees and all we had to do was get the visa. But Kiity was not given the visa. It was denied. And then came the push from Siblings in Canada for an explanation from the issuing body. At a time, it looked like Kiity was going to get it.
But Kiity had prayed about this and she was no longer at peace with the decision. She also randomly met Sister Kemi at church and before she said anything, Sis Kemi mentioned something related to the school and Canada and told her not to allow the pressure coming. That was it. Kiity told everybody No. "We are no longer going".
To the ordinary person, it did not make sense. You will have the visa soon. You have paid the initial term fee. And you do not want to travel abroad again. It was a difficult one to convince MIF and Phems but she did. I could imagine when I told two colleagues in the office about our decision, they started talking some sense into me. They could not understand. I should add that my resolve became stronger once Kiity said No. And we closed the chapter. Not without requesting for the refund and loosing about 1000 CAD equivalent. We eventually refunded this.
Let's fast forward to 2024.
Netherlands came calling with a job. We saw the hand of God in it all. Even when there were restrictions on getting access to forex, all payment were taking care of. This time around, the two of us got the visas. We also decided we would go together at the same time. Some friends had mentioned they went first and their spouse joined them later. We said 'together we will'. and so we did.
I am writing this on the 29th of May 2026. And I do not forget the hand of God in it all. It looked like we lost by not going but we got way more than we would have had by waiting and watching out for what God had in stock.
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