My thoughts.
Two people (Eyilade & Ekpemi) I knew went to be with God last year (2022). Before this time, It never hit home on the passing of people. I probably didn't take some minutes like I did on the influence I have had on the lives of the people around me.
My first experience as I remember now was during my primary school at the University of Lagos Staff Primary school, Idi-araba (Annex school). I was told the headmistress of the main school had died and we would attend the event. I did attend and the only sorrowful experience was the song "Rock of Ages".
Rock of Ages, cleft for me,
Let me hide myself in thee;
Let the water and the blood,
From thy wounded side which flowed,
Be of sin the double cure;
Save from wrath and make me pure.
The song still rings in my head as I type this. It's funny how my colleagues & I (in Primary 6 or Year 6) were behind my dad's pick-up truck and we smiled and laughed as he drove back to school after the event.
I also recall when my grandmothers died. For my maternal grandmother, this was during my secondary school - I was pained and would shed some tears when I recalled that she had gone. For my paternal grandmother, I was pained but to be honest, I didn't feel so much as I had come to associate her with something I am unable to explain clearly. You could say we didn't have a good relationship as she sometimes wasn't on the right page with my mum. No child loves a person that fails to show love to his or her mum. I couldn't relate so much as I saw my uncles and Aunties cry at the grave when she was been buried. I still picture my mum on some occasions with her crying when she heard her father had died. I was in primary school then I believe. My siblings & I continued to console her but that wouldn't stop the tears.
Eyilade was due to go for her master's degree. She had just resigned from the office where we both worked. and she did work well - ever since the first day we had a task to do together. Down to earth, easy to relate with and she did handle the Company Cooperative well - everyone attested to this when we heard the news. I was at the funeral and saw the casket lowered to the ground. This was my first real experience of feeling more. Knowing that life is so great but also so fickle.
Before the news of Eyilade's death, I had heard of the death of Mummy Samuel (One of my Sunday school teachers at Foursquare Gospel Church, Igbosere). I was pained and had to take some time off work as I looked at the flyer for the funeral.
The news of Ekpemi's death was also painful. She was a colleague back at University (Undergraduate years) who had gotten married to another colleague (Undergraduate years also). She was full of life. Creative. Always brought out her creative side - songs, artwork, programming, and pictures. Watching the funeral service in January 2023 brought to light what I had experienced during Eyilade's funeral.
Life. Death. What do we do in-between?
I recall driving slowly after Eyilade's funeral and giving way to drivers who were in a hurry as I thought of life and wondered where they were running to, given that it could all end soon. But then, we forget so soon. But another reminder comes when death happens to someone close.
We should take time to reflect. I hope I allow this influences my behavior toward the people around me. I really do. It's so sweet to see the birth of a new baby, but then death, Hmm. No wonder the bible in Eccl 7:2 references this - It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, for death is the destiny of every man; the living should take this to heart.
We should also consider living with a peaceful heart with all men. No doubt, there are times you have to be firm with people but as much as possible, live in peace with all.
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